I have been going to dog-training classes. My dog is not the problem. I am. I can’t seem to be consistent in my approach to Ruby, so in her confusion she misbehaves.
It’s my responsibility to set boundaries with Ruby so that she knows what to do, but I feel inadequate. I’m too busy. I forget to practice. I’d rather do something else. I have to work. I have a million excuses.

My resistance creates unwanted consequences

For awhile Ruby’s indiscretions (a.k.a. my unwillingness to train my dog) were tolerable. She chewed a pair of my son’s tube socks. She ate the cat’s food. She pulled on the leashwhen I walked her.

But things have gotten worse. Ruby nips me to let me know it is time for her walk. She dines on litter-box fare (yuck!). She jumps onto the furniture when we turn our backs.

I have to get past my resistance

If I continue to let Ruby get away with these antics, and inevitably let things get worse, my life is going to get a lot more chaotic. And the consequences will become dire.

(Sadly, it’s at this point that many families give their pets back to the adoption agency. The problem goes from cute to annoying to intolerable.)

Resistance undermines weight loss surgery progress, too

When my hunger came back after weight loss surgery, it was almost cute at first. I ate half of a french fry and one bite of a dessert at a wedding reception. I felt petite and in control.

I was resisting my surgeon’s guidelines, but rationalized that I followed most of them

For awhile my indiscretions (a.k.a. my unwillingness to follow my plan) were tolerable. I wasn’t gaining weight and I felt great.

But things got worse. I started eating popcorn every night. I quit exercising at the gym. I ate toast with butter at bedtime.

And my food cravings got worse

So, I pushed my limits ever further. As this happened, I began to negotiate with myself about everything. Could I eat this at 3pm if I ate less of something at dinner?

How many calories is that snack food and maybe it’s okay to eat if I skip my protein drink (thus avoiding the extra calories).
It was annoying to always be negotiating with myself, pushing the boundaries. The consequences became more dire; I gained a few pounds.

Now my behavior felt intolerable to me

A few pounds is not a big concern in the vast scheme of things. But it is at this point that many weight loss surgery patients give up. But I didn’t give up.

Like Ruby, I needed clearer limits

I was in pure resistance mode. I was out of control and looking for trouble. Unlike my dog, though, I could identify my resistance and make a decision to set better limits for myself. So, that’s what I did.

I used my husband’s motto to challenge myself

As my biggest cheerleader, Mike has always supported me in my efforts at self improvement and with my dream to help others overcome obesity.

During times when I have felt uncertain or fearful or discouraged he has put his hands on my shoulders, looked me in the eyes, and made me repeat after him:

“I am a winner.”

He makes me say it until I really feel it. Sometimes I get really mad at him, but he persists until he breaks my resistance.

One morning, Mike noticed I did not write down a food plan or seem to have any intention of making one. So, he made me say that phrase. It’s hard to feel resistance and feel like a winner at the same time. So, for a few moments, as we looked into each other’s eyes, I felt like a winner.

Over the course of that day I decided to keep saying it to myself

I got past my resistance to healthier eating using my own version of Mike’s saying:

“I’m a winner, and winners _____________________.”

I filled in the blank depending on what I was doing. So, when I wanted to eat fast food for lunch, I told myself:

“I’m a winner, and winners eat *healthy*, great-tasting meals.”

When I wanted to skip going to the gym, I told myself:

“I’m a winner, and winners exercise daily.”

And when I wanted to eat that french fry, I told myself:

“I’m a winner, and winners eat healthy fats, not trans fats.”

Everyone wants to win

When I look at my choices from the vantage point of being a winner, it’s easy to see which choices will serve me well and which ones won’t.

When I feel like a winner, I am much happier to do the next right thing — to resist the temptation to overeat or to pick unhealthy foods.

Do you want to feel like a winner?

No, you can’t borrow Mike! Go stand in front of your mirror, and look into your own eyes. Smile broadly and say, “I’m a winner!”

The Surgical Specialists of Louisiana are committed to helping our patients achieve a healthy lifestyle and a healthy weight. Whether you are interested in weight loss surgery or medically supervised weight loss counseling, we can help you take control of your eating and your weight. Watch an online seminar now or take a weight loss quiz to help you get started.

This article is from Small Bites, the email newsletter for the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery.

Subscribe today and get your F’REE report, The 10 Most Common Mistakes Weight Loss Surgery Patients Make at www.10WLSmistakes.com.
(c) 2007 National Association for Weight Loss Surgery, Inc. All rights reserved.

Since 2000, The Surgical Specialists of Louisiana have been offering weight loss programs that suit the needs of every person interested in losing weight, improving their health, and enhancing the quality of their life.

Our experienced surgeons have performed over 3,000 advanced laparoscopic weight loss surgeries such as gastric bypass, adjustable gastric banding (LAP-BAND® and REALIZE™ Band), gastric sleeve and duodenal switch. We are also now offering groundbreaking incisionless bariatric procedures such as ROSE (Restorative Obesity Surgery, Endoscopic) and POSE (Primary Obesity Surgery, Endoscopy), which are performed entirely through the mouth without making any external incisions in to the body.

But we’re not only experts in Bariatric Surgery. MyWeight, our new non-surgical weight loss and wellness program, can help you succeed whether you have 5, 50 or 150 pounds to lose. This medically supervised weight loss program is tailored to your individual needs and provides one-on-one coaching from clinical specialists.

With offices in Covington, Metairie, Slidell, and Lafayette, Louisiana, we’re just around the corner—no matter where you are! Our seven full time patient advocates are eager to help you learn about your weight loss options or help you navigate the weight loss surgery insurance hurdle.

We encourage you and your loved ones to follow this blog and explore everything our new site has to offer. And check out the new inspirational videos from five of our successful bariatric patients – Nina, Katie, Claire, Melissa, and Stacy.

We’re looking forward to helping you achieve your weight loss and wellness goals!